The counsellor sat with you in a room, who are they?

Before I became a counsellor, I went through many different experiences. I worked various jobs and moved homes and countries more times than I can count. I've loved and lost, faced rejection, and found myself again. I've grieved deeply, thrived at times, and simply survived at others.

I've made mistakes, taken wrong turns, and been my own worst critic. However, I've also rebuilt, learned what truly makes me happy, made better choices, and most importantly, learned to be kinder to myself.

We often pressure ourselves to get everything right, but mistakes help us grow. If something hasn't worked out, it's not the end—it's a chance to reflect, learn, and move forward. This quote resonates with me:

"The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing." – Henry Ford

 

Becoming a counsellor involves more than acquiring skills, techniques, and a deep understanding of psychological theories. This journey often stems from personal experiences, hardships, and profound moments of self-discovery. Every counsellor brings something unique to the therapy room: their qualifications, humanity, empathy, and lived experience.

 

The Unseen Path of the Counsellor

Many who choose to become counsellors have walked their own difficult paths. Perhaps they have experienced loss, trauma, or mental health struggles. They have likely felt the weight of seemingly insurmountable emotions and sat in the depths of uncertainty. This personal journey does not make them immune to life’s challenges, but it does provide them with an invaluable perspective—the understanding of what it truly means to struggle and to heal.
For some, entering the counselling profession is a calling, born from a desire to support others in ways they may not have been supported themselves. For others, it is a way to give back and use their pain and resilience as a bridge to help guide others.

The Stories Behind the Chair

Every individual who sits across from a counsellor has a story, a history filled with complexities, emotions, and unspoken words. While a counsellor may not have lived the exact experience of their client, they often share an understanding of the human condition—pain, joy, grief, and hope. A person seeking therapy may have spent years carrying their burden alone. The decision to seek counselling is rarely an easy one; it comes with fears of being judged, misunderstood, or exposed. A counsellor, aware of this hesitancy, creates a space that is not only safe but also affirming.

Holding Space with Compassion and Understanding

A counsellor’s lived experience informs the way they hold space for their clients. It allows them to recognise when words fail when silence speaks louder than anything else, and when a gentle nod can mean more than an elaborate response. The work of a counsellor is not about giving advice or fixing problems but about being fully present, listening deeply, and walking alongside another person on their path. The lived experience of a counsellor does not mean they know all the answers—it means they can sit with the unknown, the uncomfortable, and the painful, without needing to rush to solutions.

The Ongoing Journey

Counsellors, just like their clients, continue to grow and learn. They are not immune to struggles, and they too seek support when needed. The work they do is deeply meaningful, but it also requires them to care for their well-being. The lived experience of a counsellor is a quiet strength, a reminder that healing is not linear and that each person’s journey is unique. It is what allows them to meet their clients where they are—with authenticity, patience, and deep respect.

Final Thoughts

The person sitting in front of you in therapy has likely gone through more than they may ever reveal. But so has the person sitting across from them—the counsellor. Therapy is not just a professional exchange; it is a human connection, one that is built on understanding, trust, and the shared experience of navigating life’s many challenges.

For those seeking therapy, know this: the person listening to you may have once been in your shoes, and they are here not to lead you, but to walk alongside you, every step of the way.

 

 

#CounsellorJourney #TherapistLife #LivedExperience #MentalHealth #PersonalGrowth #SelfDiscovery #OvercomingChallenges