Losing Bailey, my soul cat, in June 2025 was one of the most painful experiences of my life. Even months later, I find myself relearning the lessons of grief in ways I hadn’t expected. And I want to share this, not just for me, but for anyone who has loved and lost an animal.

Grief for a Pet is Real

Grief for a pet is profound. It can feel just as raw and overwhelming as the loss of a human loved one. Yet, society often minimizes it. People might say, “It’s just a cat,” or “You can get another one.” But those words don’t touch the depth of what’s lost. Bailey was irreplaceable. No other cat could ever take his place, and getting another pet is not and never will be the answer.

“Grief doesn’t need to be fixed. It needs to be held with compassion.”

The Ongoing Process of Grieving

Even now, I still cry for him. Most days, the pain still comes unexpectedly. I still long for him, feel the unfairness of losing him, and miss him deeply. I leave his bedding around because I still need to feel a connection, and that’s okay. I still find it hard to go into the vet, a place we visited so often in his final days, and I have to focus on my breathing just to get through it. Grief doesn’t disappear, and it doesn’t follow a timeline. The smallest reminders, a video, a sound, a memory, can trigger tears, and that is normal. It’s a reflection of the love and bond that remains.

Embracing Complex Emotions

There’s a mix of emotions in grief: sadness, longing, unfairness, guilt, and yet also gratitude. I am grateful for the years I had with Bailey, even though the end was hard. I would choose those years a thousand times over if it meant having him back, even just for a moment.

Permission to Grieve

To anyone reading this: grieving a pet is not something to be minimized, dismissed, or rushed. You are allowed to feel raw, to cry, to leave reminders around, to take your time, and to honor the memory of your beloved animal in the way that feels right for you. “Bailey may no longer be physically here, but his presence in my heart remains.” Grief doesn’t need to be “fixed.” It needs to be held with compassion. And in holding it, we also hold the love we shared. Bailey may be gone, but that love, and that grief, is proof of a bond that was real, profound, and unforgettable.

Key Reflections for Anyone Grieving a Pet

• Grief is valid: Losing a pet can be just as profound as losing a human loved one. Your emotions matter.
• There’s no timeline: Grief comes in waves. It’s normal to cry or feel longing months or even years later.
• Small reminders are okay: Objects, videos, or scents can trigger tears, and that’s part of honoring your bond.
• Rituals help: Keeping bedding, photos, or creating small memorials can help maintain a connection.
• It’s not about replacement: No new pet can erase your loss, and that’s okay. New connections don’t diminish the old ones.
• Complex emotions coexist: Sadness, longing, anger, and gratitude can all exist together, and they’re normal.
• Self-compassion matters: Allow yourself to grieve, to feel raw, and to move at your own pace.

Gentle Reflective Prompts

If you’re grieving a pet, these prompts might help you process your feelings:
1. What memories of your pet bring you the most joy?
2. Are there small rituals or keepsakes that help you feel connected to them?
3. How has your relationship with your pet shaped your life or your heart?
4. What emotions come up for you when you think about your loss, and can you name them without judgement?
5. How can you show yourself compassion in this moment of grief?