Christmas is often portrayed as a time of togetherness, tradition, and shared joy. But when someone you love is no longer here, whether that is a person or a beloved animal, the season can feel painfully different. The absence can be loud, constant, and deeply felt, especially during moments that once felt familiar and comforting.
Grief does not pause for Christmas. In fact, the expectations that surround this time of year can make loss feel sharper and more isolating.
When Someone Important Is Missing
Losing a significant person, a partner, parent, sibling, child, friend, or anyone deeply meaningful to you, can fundamentally change how Christmas feels.
Traditions may suddenly feel hollow or unbearable. You may find yourself acutely aware of the empty chair, the silence where a voice once was, or the rituals that no longer make sense without them.
You might notice waves of:
• Deep sadness or longing
• Anger or disbelief that they are not here
• Guilt for moments of laughter or enjoyment
• Anxiety about gatherings or spending time alone
• A sense of disconnection from others
Grief is not linear, and it doesn’t follow a schedule. Feeling “okay” one moment and overwhelmed the next is a common experience, particularly during the festive season.
Facing Christmas Without Your Pet
For many people, animals are not 'just pets', they are family, companions, and sources of unconditional comfort. Losing an animal can leave an enormous hole in daily life, especially when they were part of everyday routines and quiet moments of connection. At Christmas, their absence can feel particularly poignant: the missing presence at your feet, the routines that revolved around them, the small moments of joy they brought into ordinary days.
Pet loss grief is sometimes minimised or misunderstood, which can make it feel even more isolating. Comments such as “you can always get another one” can feel deeply invalidating. Love is not replaceable, and the bond you shared with your animal was unique and meaningful.
Grief Is Grief — Love Is Love
Whether you are grieving a person or an animal, the pain you feel comes from love. These losses are not comparable in a way that diminishes either; both can be life-altering, deeply personal, and profoundly affecting. Christmas can amplify the longing for connection, the ache of absence, and the awareness that life has changed. It is okay if this season feels more about survival than celebration.
Feelings You Might Experience
During this time, you may notice:
• Emotional exhaustion
• Tearfulness or numbness
• Irritability or withdrawal
• A sense of being “out of step” with others
• Relief when events are over, followed by sadness
None of these responses means you are doing grief wrong. They are natural responses to loss.
Looking Out for Yourself This Christmas
Being kind to yourself is essential when navigating grief at Christmas. You are allowed to do this season differently.
You might consider:
• Adjusting expectations, you don’t have to keep traditions if they feel too painful.
• Setting boundaries, it’s okay to say no to invitations or limit time with others.
• Allowing space for your feelings without judgement or comparison.
• Honouring who or what you’ve lost in a way that feels meaningful to you, lighting a candle, saying their name, keeping a ritual, or simply holding them in your thoughts.
• Seeking support, grief is not something you have to carry alone.
You Are Not Alone
If you are grieving this Christmas, please know that you are not failing at the season. You are responding to love and loss in a very human way. The bond you shared does not end because someone is no longer physically present; it continues in memory, meaning, and connection.
If this time of year feels especially heavy, counselling can offer a space to talk openly, without pressure to “move on” or “be positive.” Sometimes being heard and supported is enough to make the weight feel a little lighter.
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